9. I don't approve of political jokes, I've seen too many of them get elected.10. There are two sides to every divorce, his and the shithead bitch's - opps I mean witch's.11. I love being married, it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.12. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.13. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America???15. Having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked.17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words, "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun."These are. " Thank you sir. Your help is appreciated." Mister, regard me as having said nothing, in your report. It is better that way." Yes, sir. I have noted that. Goodbye."Karl's next call was to the USAF 25th Air Force commander, and the General's anticipation was accurate."Malan child? Sorry, we know nothing about any such thing." General Mackenzie said to tell you that he authorised me to enquire, sir. It is a matter of international importance, you see." Karl, was it? Will you allow me to phone the UN building and ask for you, so that I can confirm you are who you say you are?" Of course, sir. That is only prudent. I shall await your call."The officer immediately realised that the General was steering clear of events. The authorisation was merely to "enquire" without stating into what, so that no-one could accuse him of anything at all.The promised call took half an hour to be implemented, for the Major-General needed to ascertain the current facts for himself, before he spoke to the UN.
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